It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
