i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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