This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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