Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
