remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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