Plan B is the new Plan A
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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