My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
