I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I FOUND THE LEGS
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
