My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize