we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
