your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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