Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Someone came in the potted fern
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
