We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
