This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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