what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My feet surprised me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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