Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
