You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
