If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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