One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize