Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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