I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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