Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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