god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize