We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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