time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
