I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
