So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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