Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
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