she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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