We got so high we made milksteak
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
