hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
