i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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