Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so let's talk penis.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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