I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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