I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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