just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize