it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
