Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
