She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
