So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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