How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize