i was rollin on her like bob the builder
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
