I am in a vortex of obligation.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
