She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize