So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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