i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
