Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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