her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
time to smoke my breakfast
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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