I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
