Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!