dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
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No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
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So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit