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she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
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