After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
