That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I want a musical about memes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
