Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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