I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
