I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
