you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
