Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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