If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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